Today my dad would have been 56 years young! This has been a hard day for me, actually it has been hard all week knowing that "Friday is his birthday", I kept thinking that all week. I figured it was going to be, I actually thought about calling off work. I didn't know if I would be able to go through the motions or not. I have this constant lump in my throat, trying to hold back tears. I have to blink my eyes throughout the day to clear them, so they stay away. I had a dream about him during my nap today. (Remember, I work night shift) I was walking through my parent's kitchen towards the front room and my mom and dad had just arrived. My mom said "Here he is!", like he had just gotten home from the hospital. He didn't have any injuries though. He was smiling and standing there as I ran towards him. I put my arms around him and held him so tight. I could actually smell his cologne on him, so I knew it was real. I held him really tight, I laid my head on his chest and just sat there breathing with my eyes closed. I knew that it was true what I had been telling Brent these past few weeks, that Rocky is just on vacation or out of the office. And that is why he hasn't called me, because he is just busy. It still doesn't seem true to me.
It makes a difference being so far away, I know. Because as Brent said, we are not there day to day to be reminded that he is no longer at the house or going to come home. But, how real it is to my mom.
I think it is hard to compare grief. I feel differently than my mom, and you feel differently that me. Everyone is missing apart of him in there own way. I know I am sad, actually hurting inside, my chest aches at times and my head hurts from the stress of thinking about it. But, I think that dream helped me today, he reminded me that he is still here (inside) and he knows that I care for him deeply.
Thank you for listening. I am kinda having a hard week. I love all of you. Please know that all your words and emails and prayers have gone a long way. We are very blessed to have friends and family that really and truly care.
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12 comments:
Tina,
Remember what I told you about a person's "soul". Rocky is living on in everyone of us, in many different memories and forms, like the sound of his favorite music, smell of his cologne or favorite foods.
We are all better people to have known him, even if just for a little while.
Stay strong, love to all,
John
AND I told myself I wouldn't cry today!!!!! I miss your dad everyday, and like yourself I have dreams of him often. For a while there he was coming to me in my dreams almost every night. Your mom knows why, feel free to ask her.
Hang in there Tina... Tonight should be bitter sweet as we ( us, your mom, brother and friends) get together to celebrate Rock's b-day. We are always here to help you and your family along this path in life. Take care and just remember Your dad is with you always. ALWAYS AND FOREVER.
Love,
Cathy Romero and family
To tina and family. Yesterday i went to visit my next door neighbor and she was having company from RI. she was making Manicotti. meatballs. i told her how Lucy taught us to Make that on thomas street. So i guess the special event was Rocky birthday. You will find many ways that he will stay close to you and many signals as look as you are looking for them you will see them. Love ginny h.
Good friends are like the stars in the sky. We don't always see them, but we always know their there. Even when they are gone.
Happy Birthday my friend.
Mickey
I too had a dream about your Dad just last week. It was good to see him again. On his birthday I celebrate his life.
Cousin Joseph Savastano
big hugs Tina...love you tons.
NON DIMITCAIRE HAPPY BIRTHDAY
Dear Linda & family, we just found out that my cousin, Gerard, passed away. This was very difficult to hear. Even though you lived thousands of miles away, when we saw you a few years ago, it felt like we never lived far apart, like old times. Gerard, we will miss you. We loved you very much. God bless you and your family Linda.
Cousin Lou DeRiggi & family, NJ
Oh, Rocky, you are not gone, you've just gone away. I think of you every day, I look at your picture and speak of you often, I even root for the Giants now. I miss my friend.
Go New York Football Giants
i havent seen jerry in many years..he was the best man at my wedding 30years ago he was roommates with my ex husband. we spoke on occasion and i had the pleasure of meeting linda when they were in nj..i may not of kept in touch but i always thought of him..he was a great person and im very lucky to have known him
its funny that the first movie we all went to see was rocky when it first came out..my thoughts and prayers are with the whole family
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