Six Months

March 22, 2009 was the six month anniversary of Rocky's death.
As you can imagine, the week was a hard one. I was actually dreading the day, for 3 weeks prior. I don't know why, I guess because again, it was a solid reminder that he is gone.

My mom flew out to Ohio to spend the time with the grandkids and Brent & I, but I can't say for sure if it helped any. I was glad to be with her to let her cry and talk, though.
It was nice to be able to hold her and smell her perfume. I have found that small things like that are more meaningful to me than before.

Spring is here and our lives continue to bloom with new beginnings and a fresh look at things, as time passes. My uncle Mike has generously petitioned the city of Whittier to plant a tree in memory of Rocky on a new walking path they are designing. This is a very long process, so I will update you when I know more. We are also going to take a family trip to Colorado (Estes Park) in June to lay Rocky to rest. Rocky's sister Toni, nephew Anthony and niece Amanda and their families will be flying in from Pennsylvania. Brent & I with our boys, and my Mom, brothers Kevin & Nathan and my Uncle David & Aunt Irene and their family will be there to spread his ashes amongst the mountains - where he always said he "felt closest to God". It will be a week long excursion, so that we may enjoy the time in such a beautiful place.

May I ask that you continue to pray for our family in the year ahead. God has always been our great provider, and prayer helps to keep us strong. I never thought that the pain that I was feeling in my chest from heartbreak and loss would ever go away. But, now I can honestly say more recently that the gray cloud has moved on from it's permanent residence above our home. It does not follow me around any longer, either. Prayer changes things.

Thank you to all who have been so kind to our family. I know you yourselves have gone through difficult times in recent months. So, we appreciate the continued love and support you have shown. Your comments are not always easy to read, very touching and moving. But know, that each one has been read and although it is hard for my mom to read, I tell her what you have written. It brings her joy. ---May God's outpouring of grace be abundant to you and yours. - tina

Rocky... this is your life!

I wanted to make a video that celebrates my Dad's life...and after many weeks of working on the final touches, it is finally finished! I hope you enjoy this video, it is only about 10 minutes long and is just a small recap of his life. The songs in the video are from CD's that Rocky had in his collection of favorites.

I have linked the YouTube website to the right for you to access it. Please feel free to let all your friends know and pass onto anyone I may not have on my contact list.
Please make sure you turn up your volume first. Thank you.

Happy Birthday, Rocky!

Today my dad would have been 56 years young! This has been a hard day for me, actually it has been hard all week knowing that "Friday is his birthday", I kept thinking that all week. I figured it was going to be, I actually thought about calling off work. I didn't know if I would be able to go through the motions or not. I have this constant lump in my throat, trying to hold back tears. I have to blink my eyes throughout the day to clear them, so they stay away. I had a dream about him during my nap today. (Remember, I work night shift) I was walking through my parent's kitchen towards the front room and my mom and dad had just arrived. My mom said "Here he is!", like he had just gotten home from the hospital. He didn't have any injuries though. He was smiling and standing there as I ran towards him. I put my arms around him and held him so tight. I could actually smell his cologne on him, so I knew it was real. I held him really tight, I laid my head on his chest and just sat there breathing with my eyes closed. I knew that it was true what I had been telling Brent these past few weeks, that Rocky is just on vacation or out of the office. And that is why he hasn't called me, because he is just busy. It still doesn't seem true to me.
It makes a difference being so far away, I know. Because as Brent said, we are not there day to day to be reminded that he is no longer at the house or going to come home. But, how real it is to my mom.
I think it is hard to compare grief. I feel differently than my mom, and you feel differently that me. Everyone is missing apart of him in there own way. I know I am sad, actually hurting inside, my chest aches at times and my head hurts from the stress of thinking about it. But, I think that dream helped me today, he reminded me that he is still here (inside) and he knows that I care for him deeply.
Thank you for listening. I am kinda having a hard week. I love all of you. Please know that all your words and emails and prayers have gone a long way. We are very blessed to have friends and family that really and truly care.

Concert for Rocky

This flyer was given to Kevin at work. Apparently, there are a few people who are having their band play at Kelly's Pub in Arcadia. (It's rock n' roll, from what I hear.) The proceeds from the night are going to Rocky's family. This was very moving to find out, since, my mom doesn't know who they are and Kevin didn't either. So, if you are able to make it, please do. Thanks!

Sunday, October 12th @ 2pm
Kelly's Pub
80 W. Live Oak Ave.
Arcadia, CA

Celebrating his life

Rocky's funeral services are being held
on Thursday, October 2, 2008.

• Location: The Sky Rose Chapel at Rose Hills Memorial Park & Mortuary in Whittier, 3888 Workman Mill Road- Gate #1 (562) 699-0921
• Time: 3pm sharp

Please note: We ask that you arrive by 2:30pm, since the service will begin promptly at 3pm and we are needing to be out of the chapel by 4pm due to other booking needs. Rose Hills is a huge place, please give yourself enough time to locate the chapel.

I have attached a link to the right of the this blog for Rose Hills website, so that you may get directions.

We would like to thank everyone who can attend, but know that if you are unable, your prayers are uplifting and supportive during this time and you will be missed. Thank you.

Ti amo! Buonanotte, a presto.

(I love you! Good night, see you soon.)

This is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I can barely get the words on the screen.

It is with overwhelming sadness and pain that I must tell you my dad passed away last night around 9pm. With my mom singing to him and holding his hand, please know, he died peacefully and without pain.

There are so many of you reading this and I am sorry this is the way you had to find out. My mom asked that I send this out, even though it took everything in me to write you.

We truly thank each and every one of you for your love of my dad, support, friendships, memories you have shared and all the many prayers these past few weeks. Rocky is with the Lord and in a loving place- I can see why he would have wanted to stay there.

My mom said she is very blessed to have been able to spend the last few weeks with my dad and talk with him, pray with him, just be with him. My mom is a very strong woman.

I do not have any details on the arrangements, but as soon as I do I will send another email out and make all of you aware. Please send this to anyone you know.
My heart is so heavy right now, but I am so glad that I got to find out how many numerous lives my dad touched through this blogsite. Thank you, tina

Moving forward

At the beginning of next week, the Dr.'s want to have a one-on-one with our family to talk about transferring Rocky into a facility closer to home. I ask for your prayers with this. This will be a difficult meeting for my mom. The neuro Dr.'s are not the most inspiring people to talk to. This is a time where faith and science come head to head. Because, see, we are believers. And with that we have faith that miracles will continue to happen. I am hoping that God intervenes and will bring light to these Dr.'s lives.
Hope, I have found, is hard to come by when talking with the neuro team. They have very little optimism and tend to be negative in conversation. Please don't get me wrong. I believe Rocky is getting the best care possible. But, I also believe it is because God put those people there on purpose to take care of my dad. And I find it hard to believe that they have not seen miracles happen in a hospital that seems to have so much sadness and darkness. Understandably, it may come with the territory. Gunshot victims, train accident victims and the like are what fill the halls of the trauma unit. I can see why a Dr. would have little hope or become cold.
But, again, I know God has risen people from the dead, healed the sick and helped the blind see. So, where they may not have hope - I pray for them to be filled with it. Where they may not be able to see - may the light of God show them. And where they may not believe -witness Rocky wake up and make believers out of all of them.

Still "Stable"

It is hard to hear, but that is the only news I have right now. I can tell you that the hospital is looking to move Rocky into a step-down long term facility that can support his current needs. He is in a "limbo" right now, since his vitals are stable and he is not so much in need of trauma care. It is still hard though for us, since we would rather him have a 1:2 ratio for nursing care. But, it will be in a place that will be closer to my parent's home, hopefully. That will be a huge relief on my mom, the traveling is hard. She would like to be with her husband every minute, holding his hand, putting her head on his chest and praying with him. We are supposed to be having a family meeting with the doctors soon, so Brent and I may be flying out again. Keep you updated.
As for the enormous overwhelming response of comments, prayers, support, encouragement, memories and love that you all have shared with us, I can't even explain how much it is appreciated! I have a hard time reading some of the things people write, because they are so emotional. I read each one through blurry tear-filled eyes. I can't believe how much my dad had an impact on so many wonderful people. Thank you so much!

Surgery #2

Well, my dad made it through his second surgery on his left leg. I wasn't able to get exact details from my mom as to what the procedure entailed. (Which is hard for me, since I ask alot of questions!) Her comment was, "He's alive and that is all I can worry about right now". Understandable. But, I do know that they were able to close up the area that they previously had to leave open to heal. He was also given more antibiotic beads, which are left in there to prevent an infection. As for the plastic surgery to make him a new heel/ankle, I believe that is on hold for the time being. As of this afternoon, he is stable and they are trying to decrease his oxygen he needs to below 60% (good thing.). He has also made a few responses to stimuli, upon request.(great thing!) In the meantime, my mom has been able to go home today for a shower and sleep that was long over due, while a Navy Seal is back at the hospital praying over Rocky. Thank you for keeping in touch everyone!

2 steps forward, 3 steps back

During the last 24 hours my dad has had a bit of a set back. Although his vitals are stable, for the time being he is not responding to stimuli. For the last week, Rocky has been improving in his progress and passing milestones that are needed when a person is in a coma. Right now, though, he is need of major prayer. I know that his body is going through a huge state of shock and still has a lot of recovery to go through. This is very hard on my mom. Although, when she talks with the other families that are holding vigil in the waiting room for their loved ones, they are very encouraging. I think maybe Rocky may have over done it in the past week, and now he needs to be in God's arms taking a bit of a time-out to all the stimuli from the outside world. We are positive in his recovery and know that healing takes time. But, it's kind of a bummer when things don't go the way we want them to. God has a plan for Rocky, and although I would like an email stating what that plan is, I doubt I'll be seeing it in my inbox soon. For now, please continue to pray and again thank you for all the support. Every one of you mean something special to my family.

Keep Praying

Ask for healing in these areas specifically:

• Head injuries, skull fractures and brusing on the brain
• Lungs/Trach and ribs
• Left leg fractures and any infection that may set in
• Coma scale- we want it to be higher than it is!

All of your prayers have worked, so please don't stop now! Miracles are happening in his body. The trauma staff has witnessed miracles happen since Rocky came through the door! We appreciate all your support during this really hard time. So, Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!

ER Trauma Story

The call came in and each person on the ER trauma team was paged. They dropped what they were doing, ran and then waited anxiously by the door. When Rocky arrived, his injuries were so severe, that they believed he was dead coming through the door. They looked everywhere to find a place to touch him and finally someone felt his ankle and yelled "I've got a pulse!" From there everyone knew what their job was, and acted quickly to try and get him stabilized.

What happened

The past week has been difficult. No other way to put it.

This is the information Brent and I got from the police report:
On Friday morning September 29, 2008, Rocky was in a terrible "MCA" (motorcycle accident) as the L.A. County Sheriff Dept calls it. He was heading westbound on Gale Ave. in City of Industry going to work. Rocky decided to take Gale, because the 60 freeway was congested. He was on his Harley cruising at 40 mph, under the speed limit. A man driving eastbound turned left into a Nissan dealer where he worked. He was going only 5 mph. Before he knew it he slammed into Rocky. This was 6:20 am, sunrise. It was a complete accident. The man just did not see him, until it was too late. Apparently, Rocky saw him though, there was a 19 foot skid mark before Rocky was hit. The deputy, was on the scene within minutes. Later he had to apologize to us, because the police report is written out as a fatality. He was called out because the paramedics believed Rocky would be dead on the scene or not make it to the hospital. Rocky was air-lifted by helicopter to USC Medical Center in downtown L.A. arriving around 8am.
When we spoke with the deputy, he was teary eyed and very pleased to meet us both. Unbeknownest to us, he had been checking on Rocky's status and to his surprise found out that Rocky was alive! Miracle #1

Since the accident, Rocky has faced many obstacles. When he came in he was at 100% oxygen and the ventilator was breathing for him at 16 breaths per minute. All his ribs are broken, along with his shoulder, collar bone, femur in 2 places, tibia and fibula. Two of the brakes were compound. He had 2 chest tubes and multiple skull fractures. They said he was not going to make it through Saturday. He had severe trauma to his head and major bleeding & swelling on his brain. Increased ICP (intracranial pressure) in the high 40's. (Normal being less than 10) He needed urgery on his leg, to control bleeding. They were not able to do the surgery right away because of increased ICP, due to bleeding. But couldn't control the bleeding because of his ICP. Catch 22. And don't even think about talking to him or touching him they said, because the stimulation will increase it more. The meds weren't working to control it, so they ended up putting in a shunt to relieve pressure and that helped immediately! So, as it was, all Saturday and Sunday, we weren't able to talk or touch him. Which is hard, it's like telling a kid "don't touch that!" It only makes you want to do it more. Made it through Saturday. Miracle #2

Rocky had to get stable enough to go to surgery. While we waited and waited for the ok. They didn't think he would be able to go to surgery, because his ICP was fluctuating. About 12 hours past and then by Sunday things were looking good. Although, they said he might not make it through surgery. And that they would have to stop if any of his vital signs changed, even the slightest. But, like I said, we have seen miracles these last few days and Rocky came through the 6 hour surgery with 3 rods in his leg. Of course, he will have to have surgery at a later date to fix his heel, which was crushed so bad, he doesn't have one at this time. He is now at 50% oxygen and breathing 23/16, which means he is breathing 7 of the breaths on his own. Miracles #3-#5

Rocky has also had temp of 104 degrees. (He is on antibiotics for an infection just in case.) His vitals were all out of whack and the trauma team rushed him to CTscan. Which hadn't changed in days. (good news) and while he was in there, all his vitals came back to normal in front of the staffs eyes. One of the doctors actually said they were "confused" as to what happened. Miracle #6 and more to come...God did it!

So, for now, he is stable. He is still in the trauma unit. But, now has a tracheotomy and a peg tube or g-tube for feeding. He is in a coma on his own, no sedation or medication. But things are looking good, since he is having reflexes and making faces to show signs of pain or discomfort. He is also moving up on the coma scale...he went from a 3 to a 6 out of 15. This is great! There is more to tell, so please stay in touch. God is listening to you so Thank you for all your prayers and support. We welcome it.

PS. prayer for my mom, Linda she is very dehydrated and fatigued!